


We Begin Where This Ends

by ravenangel



Series: Building a Life Series [2]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3753325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenangel/pseuds/ravenangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nate is leaving the Corps but he has to convince Brad that it doesn't mean he's leaving him too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Begin Where This Ends

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the HBO miniseries Generation Kill. Nothing is mine and nothing is associated with any of the real people, I'm just here to borrow the characters for a while. I've been thinking a lot about expanding the story I started in Waiting to Breathe so here is the first step in doing so. No harm intended and all mistakes are my own.

We Begin Where This Ends

 

The party was loud and boisterous, but what else would one expect from a bunch of Marines, especially ones who are promoting their platoon leader to Mister.  Brad had mixed feelings on the subject, as a Marine he hated to lose a good officer, but as a man he was afraid of losing whatever this was that had begun in Kuwait waiting to invade Iraq.  It had only grown as the invasion progressed, but since they returned stateside things had changed again.  There was a distance there that hadn't existed before, leaving Brad feeling disconnected and confused.  They hadn't done anything while they were in theater, just trusted and supported each other occasionally enjoying one another's company, always the unspoken promise when we're home and safe we'll figure this out.  

Tonight the distance seemed like a canyon.  They watched each other from a safe distance, orbiting and gravitating toward each other but never connecting.  They exchanged brief hellos but didn't linger.  Brad sat listening as his brothers passed the paddle around each sharing stories of the LT, no Captain now, waiting his turn silently.  The story Brad chose was the day the LT saved their asses when Rudy's stove being used outside of regulations blew like a 40 mike mike and burned the shit out of Ray.  Thanks to the LT's quick thinking there was no fallout for anyone, other than a few small scars for Ray. 

As Gunny Wynn and Pappy presented the paddle to Nate Brad watched a number of emotions flash across his face; sorrow, regret, awe, joy, and finally settling into pride.  He took great pride in his men who all made it home relatively intact despite command's best efforts.  Brad listened to the cadence of the LT's voice as he gave the required speech, none of the words really registering, but the cadence soothing and cutting in a twisted dichotomy of feeling.  Brad found it soothing because it was the LT, cutting because it's official now, he's out.  He's leaving, moving on to bigger and better things...

As the party wound down Brad stepped outside and sat on the back porch of Mike Wynn's house, enjoying the distance from everyone.  He needed time to think.  Everything was changing; soon he would be in England on exchange with the Royal Marines, the LT would be in Boston going to yet another Ivy League school still trying to change the world.  Ray and Walt were also leaving the Corps, Pappy was reassigned...

Brad slowly sipped his beer staring out at the ocean listening as the waves crash into the beach, and Mike sending people off.  The back door creaked open as Nate stepped onto the porch.  Brad tensed slightly, "LT."

Nate smiled, "Staff Sargent.  It's just Nate now."

Brad smirked, "You'll always be the LT, Sir."

Nate stepped down looking at the space next to Brad, "This seat taken?"

Brad waved his hand at it and Nate sat down, shoulders almost brushing Brad's.  They sat silently both staring into the distance when Brad broke the silence, "Nate, what do you want?"

Nate smiled innocently, "What, can't I just sit here with you? Who says I have to want anything?"

Brad gave him a half smile and a sidelong glance as Nate's grin turned impish. "Sure Sir, you don't want anything." Brad stated dryly.

Nate sighed, "Brad we're going to have to talk sometime.  We'll both be gone soon..." Nate trailed off.

Brad looked unflinchingly at Nate, "We shouldn't talk about this here.  Too much to say and too many ears."

"You're right Brad, but we do need to talk." Nate said softly bumping shoulders with Brad. "Everyone's heading out are you safe to drive?"

Brad half smiled, "I have drank exactly one half of a beer all night. I'm fine."

Nate smiled back, "Good, so we can talk sober somewhere else."

"Yours or mine Sir?" Brad asked quietly.

"Yours" Nate answered.

Brad levered himself up and threw away his beer offering a hand to Nate who allowed Brad to pull him to his feet.  They went back inside saying their good-nights to Mike and then went to their separate vehicles.  Nate listened as Brad started his bike and watched silently as he put on his leather jacket and helmet before he headed off towards home. Nate followed in his wake.  Mike watching quietly from the window, _It's about fucking time they quit dancing around each other._

Brad pulled the bike into the garage as Nate parked in the driveway.  His mouth went dry as he watched Brad get off his bike and take his helmet off; all leather, denim and strength.  Brad turned arching an eyebrow at Nate, a slow smirk pulling at his lips.  Nate swallowed thickly and walked toward Brad.

Brad closed the garage and lead Nate through the door to his kitchen. "You want anything Sir?"

"Water if you have it." Nate replied hoarsely.

Brad's smirk widened to a smile as he pulled out two bottles tossing one to Nate.

They continued to the living room where they sat opposite each other on the couch.  Brad casually looking at the computer parts on his coffee table carefully avoiding Nate's searching gaze.

Nate sighed, "What are we doing here Brad?"

Brad looked sidelong at Nate, "You're the one who wanted to talk Nate, so talk."

Nate sat up turning towards Brad, "Ok, it's going to be like that is it?"  Nate pressed on,"Brad, I think we have the potential for something here, but we both need to want it..."

Brad looked at Nate, famous "Iceman" mask in place as he waited to see where this was going. Nate shifted slightly, "I know there's something here.  I'm almost positive we both want it.  I need you to know just because I'm leaving the Corps doesn't mean I'm leaving you."  Nate slowly reached toward Brad's knee and rested his hand there, "I want to see if this could work. I just need to know that you want to try."

Brad continued to watch Nate who seemed to be getting more flustered the longer he fought to find words.  Finally Nate took a deep breath and blew it out, "Fuck it."  Nate leaned in to Brad's space and finally took what he wanted, brushing his lips tentatively against Brad's.  Brad started slightly and then slowly kissed Nate back, deepening the kiss. Nate shifted closer moving against Brad trying to pour everything into the kiss that he couldn't find words for. Nate cupped Brad's face and chased his tongue into his mouth as Brad pulled him onto his lap. They paused heads resting together panting.  

Brad giving a startled chuckle at their current position, "Nate." he whispered hoarsely.  

Nate leaned back in and kissed him again slowly and deeply. "Brad, I'm pretty sure I love you."  

"Nate, I think I love you too..." Brad answered looking away emotions warring on his face.

Nate turned Brad's head toward him, making Brad look at him, "Brad it's ok, there's nothing to be afraid of here.  I want you.  I want to see what we can build."  

Brad's eyes flicked away from Nate, "It's not that simple." He whispered brokenly.  Brad exhaled harshly, "You're going to Harvard, I'm going to England and even if that wasn't the case, you're leaving the Corps but I'm a lifer Nate..." Brad trailed off, "DADT isn't going away anytime soon do you really want to be with someone you have to hide away, lie about?" 

Nate looked at Brad. Silently watching him as he fought for control of his emotions. Nate gently turned his face toward him again and kissed him chastely. "Brad, I have waited as long as I could for this.  I waited until I was free just so that we wouldn't have to worry about fraternization in addition to DADT." He punctuated his statement with another quick kiss. "I don't want you to stop being who you are Brad. I know you're a Marine. I know you are a career Marine, and I know what that means."  Brad looked cautiously at Nate as he paused staring earnestly right back, "Brad I know this won't be easy.  I know we'll have to be careful, have to lie to people, but when has anything we've done since we met been easy?" 

Brad gave a soft chuckle, "True, but Nate this is going to mean hiding in plain sight.  This could mean lying to everyone we know." Brad sighed heavily and pulled Nate closer resting his head on Nate's shoulder. "We're going to have to fight for everything... we're going to be a half a world away from each other for the better part of two years and even then I'll be on the other side of the country unless I get transfered." Brad pressed on, "There's never going to be enough time together.  We're going to be apart way more than we'll be together.  Are you really sure you'll be ok with that?"

Nate kissed the side of Brad's head and whispered, "Brad, I know what I feel and I don't think anything will change that.  The only thing I know for sure is if we don't try I will regret that for the rest of my life."  He kissed Brad again, "I need you to know that I think this and you are worth all the risks and sacrifices we'll be making.  Besides there's always leave, school breaks, email, texting, phone calls we'll work it out." He gently lifted Brad's chin to make him look at him. "Brad tell me you don't want to try and I'll walk away, but if you want this as much as I do we have to try."

Brad rested his forehead against Nate's, "Nate I don't think I could let you go now if I tried.  I want this, but I'm afraid that I will let you down.  That I won't be enough for you."

Nate laughed kissing Brad softly, "I love you and I can't see you ever letting me down.  If you couldn't do it in theater with everything that happened, I can't see you doing it now." He kissed Brad again, "You will be more than enough for me and I really think after leading those men across an unforgiving desert there is nothing we can't accomplish if we work at it together."

Brad leaned back pulling Nate more securely on top of him kissing him slowly and deeply as they broke apart he lay his head atop Nate's, "You win Nate.  I'd follow you anywhere."

 They lay like that quietly touching, kissing and exploring one another for the remainder of the night.  The first rays of sunlight found them sitting on the porch sipping their coffee shoulder to shoulder ready to face the world.


End file.
